A Night Which Is Hard To Forget

We had a great time today . The chinese society made tonight a blast . Showing others the traditional music and yet add on some future music too ! I personally enjoyed it . There was a drama , they perform titanic comedy , its very nice . Laugh my ass out too . Then there was a band , nice songs , nice guitarist , nice drummer , nice pianist . Just the singers are out of shape , well , they are shouting ! To tell the truth , only Man Kit and Zhi Xian sing nicest ! I like the drummer most , he is awesome . Then it was some kungfu action , very nice display of both strength and speed . Kinda cool if you learn kungfu or martial arts , I hope I can learn too . Then it was time to bring the drums ! DRUMLINE TIME , drum drum drum . They rocks or some reason which I can't even figure out , SMK Yu Hua was stunning , their 24 students hit their drums with spirit and confidence . I can even feel the force of the drum . Now , I feel that drum is attracting me .

Through out the day , my mood was pretty much uneven . First of all , I keep seeing her with a guy and not with me , where else other couples can cuddle together . This makes me very sad , because she always enjoys her time with other guys . Either she hate me , or she just playing with my feelings , or started to get bored with me . I don't know . I've been toying with my mind every time she sits , talk , play with a guy . Maybe , I'm not a good boyfriend at all , I can't provide her any happiness , I can't provide her protection , the worst is , I can't provide her love . *sigh* I better not think too much , or maybe is true , that I am one step behind other boys , that I am not a good boy myself . All I want her is to be happy with me , more than her boy friends . What am I lack of ? What they have which I don't have ? What is wrong with us ? I don't want to leave her , I don't want her to leave me either . I love her very much , more than she could ever imagine . But seeing her feel happy with other boys makes me feel guilty for not providing the fun , the happiness . I wonder , if a building is collapsing , and she is with her boy friends with me together , who will she run to ? Me or her friends ? *sigh* I feel that I can't give the best for her , I feel that I am not good enough for her . I hope the best for her , but am I the best ? I hope that she will be with me , happy walking through the pain and the obstacles ahead of us , conquering them together and happily .

I really enjoy the times we are together . We can really out play each other . I hope that we can be together every single minute . But am I too selfish ? Should I let loose a little for her to enjoy with her friends ? I love her . She is my one and only . Even times of sorrow , I still love her every much . I would cry for her . I love her cute face which pops out every time she laughs or smile . Can I make her laugh or smile ? Can I make her happy again every time she is sad ? I don't think s I can't because every time she is sad , I always fail to cheer her up . Sorry baby . I hope that you will stay with me forever . Be happy please , our lives are not long for sorrows , we need to enjoy our lives before its too late . I want you now badly . *sigh* I love you , one and only you . I hope that you will be happy with me .

Yours ,

Useless boy .